As 2014 winds to a tumultuous and eye-opening close, we at House of Gilda express our gratitude for the fickleness of celebrity and the relief of a weak, long-term collective memory.
Our streets are currently electrified with protests–racism, woman-bashing, and prejudice of all kinds are alive and well–but that doesn’t mean we can’t take a moment to think about the things that are going right in the world. In that spirit, let’s be grateful that, while examples of this phenomenon are certainly too few and far between, mainstream culture left these truly pathetic misogynists behind like road kill to decay on the fringes of the walk of fame.
Once upon a time Tucker Max delighted frat fucks everywhere with a narrative cocktail of butt sex, beer-flavored vomit and general misogyny. But oh, my friends, it’s no longer the turn of the millennium. Like Rome, the fraternities are falling, and everyone’s asshole cousin Tucker Max is toppling down right alongside them.
After spearheading a shitty indie movie that no one watched and investing in several businesses nobody patronized, Max is now literally being accused by MRAs in the “manosphere” of stealing their content for his online dating / male advice site.
Yes. You read that absolutely correctly. The monster Tucker Max himself created has turned against him.
And you know you’ve made fantastic life choices for yourself when your previously hugest fans—the worst humans in the world—don’t even like you anymore.
Also, because there’s no underestimating the patriarchy’s lobotomizing effect on women everywhere, someone actually married this man and bore his child. Congratulations, baby son of Tucker Max, for being born a boy! Woe unto us all if he ever spawns a girl-child.
Mystery / “The Pick-Up Artist” (Erik von Markovik)
Remember this asshole? In his 2007 MTV show, The Pick Up Artist, he taught what might have otherwise been normal, passably interesting men to slough off any semblance of decency, kindness and humanity in favor of dressing in large feathered hats and clumsily insulting women in bars.
Luckily, the universe can be a kind place. Our supposed master of seduction has been laid low, oh so low, my sisters and brothers: he was recently busted lip-syncing Nickelback via home movie for a women who was only interested in mocking him.
And this is how I remind him….of what he really is. This is how I remind him.
This former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO who famously said that he “doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store” probably isn’t super happy that he got his wish. Sure, fat people don’t shop there anymore… and neither does anyone else. The struggling brand had been going under for a while, and the misogynist and sizeist bullshit spewed by Frankenstein-impersonator Jeffries in Business Insider and Salon.com didn’t help the situation.
In January, the company fired Jeffries from his role as Chairman. While he’s staying on as “Chief Executive”—a weird move I can only imagine is a result of fear that he would go full wildebeest on the board members – he’s been largely stripped of power within the company.
Here’s hoping that in his next round of plastic surgery the scalpel slips and removes the part of his brain responsible for extreme douchbaggery.
There’s this one episode of Growing Pains that stuck with me from when I was a kid. Mike Seaver falls for a girl at school who dresses a lot like Madonna. (The singer, of course, not the virginal mother of Jesus.) Anyway, the Seaver parents think that this girl is just a tad too, well, slutty for their boy, so they try to discourage him. And of course they turn out to be right about her, because, seriously, who wears lace gloves and layers of tulle and isn’t a total WHORE!?
It wasn’t until later that the irony of this episode, ahem, caused a commotion for me. This was Kirk Cameron’s very first whore/Madonna complex. And Lord knows (according to Kirk) that he’s stuck with it off the small screen, too. As recently as this very month Cameron hit the media hard, citing the importance of the role of women (or “keepers of the home” as he calls us) in the Christmas season. His sage advice: “Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep.”
I wouldn’t waste another minute on my crying about this, but I’m pretty sure we’re nowhere near the end of his woman-bashing disguised as piety. Still, since only five and a half people saw his new Christmas movie, I am placing him firmly in the “forgotten” category.
Unfortunately, famous sexists who are actually punished for their views are few and far between. Hopefully that will change, though, and when it does I’ll have another installment of “A Few Semi-Famous Misogynists We Should Take A Moment To Enjoy Mostly Having Forgotten” delivered hot and fresh (always fresh) to your screen, Simone de Booyah style!
(Did I forget some misogynists you’re glad you’ve forgotten? Feel free to list them in the comments or hit me up at @simonedebooyah on Twitter with the hashtag #LaterWomanHater!)
Image Credit: Flickr