Superior Periods: The Menstrual Cup

When I had my laughably terrible sex education in grade school, I went to the nurse to ask her for a tampon I didn’t actually need. I was maybe 9 at the time, and I thought I was really cool and grown up. I remember sneaking tampons from my mom and trying them to see what it felt like. I got a secret thrill from shoving scratchy cotton up my prepubescent vagina. We all get our kicks somehow.

I tried pads a few times but I always felt like I was wearing a diaper. I used tampons exclusively for 15+ years. Eventually, in my adulthood I mastered my winning combination – super tampon paired with a thin panty liner. I figured I had it made. I was wrong.

I had never even heard of the menstrual cup until I was well into my twenties. My best friend, purveyor of all things vegetarian/good for the environment/witchy and cool told me about them. I looked at her like she was nuts. I thought the idea of the cup was so strange, so I didn’t consider using one. I was young and dumb, what can I say?

I finally picked up my menstrual cup last summer, and I have never, ever looked back. The menstrual cup has completely changed my life and my periods for the better. I don’t understand why every woman and girl doesn’t have one. They are cost-effective, reusable and completely safe. But here’s why I really love them:

  1. I never accidentally push out my cup when I poop (looking at you, tampons)
  2. No chemicals or fragrances fucking up my vagina’s pH levels
  3. No more wet tampon strings after a pee
  4. No more bleeding through my panties/pants/bedsheets
  5. It’s actually pretty cool to look at the amount of blood your body releases?
  6. The suction from removing the cup to empty it actually helps drain the blood faster, which shortens your period and helps with cramps
  7. I don’t have to hide tampons in every single purse I own anymore
  8. I never have to embarrassingly ask someone else for something “for that time of the month”
  9. No more clogging my friend’s/office’s/family’s toilet on accident (unless, you know, big poops)
  10. No more dry tampon vagina (you KNOW what I’m talking about)
  11. No more weird blood stains on my labia from a not-absorbant-enough pad
  12. No more rolled up bloody pads in my trash can
  13. Saving between $15-30 a month not buying tampons or pads
  14. No more accidentally ripping out pubic hair from the sticky side of a pad
  15. Most models come with a cute travel pouch! Travel pouches are everything.

We need to be teaching our girls about the cup. We need to give one to every girl around the world who skips school on her period. We need to empower women with the knowledge that they don’t have to pollute the environment or their bodies once a month. We have the technology! We have the cup.


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