This is the first installment in a series designed to help any novice feminists understand what thoughts and behaviors are acceptable now that they have accepted the mantle of feminism. It is sometimes hard to recognize the influence of the patriarchy in our day to day decisions, but rest assured that it is always there. To help you resist that influence, this series will clarify what is, and, more importantly, what isn’t behavior becoming a feminist.
Real Feminists Don’t….
While viewed as harmless, or, if viewed critically at all, only as a class-privileged sport, golf is known amongst real feminists for what it really is: a symbolic celebration of the patriarchy and its oppression of women globally.
Of course, all real feminists are intersectional feminists, so the class implications of golf should be enough of a deterrent. Let’s start there.
For years, golf has been a sport unattainable by the have-nots. Predominantly a pastime enjoyed at country clubs with private membership, golf has long been representative of the leisure class. Due to costs, the required equipment is prohibitively hard to attain, and access to golf courses even harder. And the exclusivity of club memberships wasn’t limited only by wealth. Until recently, racial, ethnic, religious and gender-based exclusions were codified for many clubs. Today, those exclusions may not be formalized on paper, but may still be enforced in practice. Golf is, even today, predominantly a sport for rich, white, Christian males.
And what do rich, white, Christian males do when they get together? Well, they are the predominant leaders of businesses due to the systematic exclusion of everyone else over the course of generations. It just stands to reason they’d talk business. It is in this way that golf has become the unofficial sport of the “old boys’ network” for ages. It is out on the course that decisions are made, deals brokered, and nepotism enacted. All men. In closed clubs. Deciding the fate of workers, of companies, of the economy. Nope! Nothing nefarious could possibly come of that, right?
Are those enough reasons for you? Because there’s more. Let’s look below the surface.
Have you ever thought about the purpose of golf? How did a lovely walk across beautiful landscapes somehow gain expensive equipment to become the favored sport of the wealthy? What is the imagery behind it? What does it symbolize? If you really want to know dear Feminist, let’s discuss.
This is a sport in which rich, white, men stroll leisurely across their wide expanses of land, wielding large sticks. All real feminists recognize a phallic symbol when it is presented and it is certainly presented here. And aggressively. Each man has multiple large sticks which they pay others to carry for them, the burden just too great for them to bear. They practice their grips and they swing these penis-proxies with hips held just so. Much of the heart of the game centers around these phalluses and how much power they feel when they swing them. They discuss their short game, their long game, their stroke! Could it get any more obvious than that?
Next is the golf ball, round and white. Does this remind you of anything? Yes, the moon, our lunar Mother, ruler of the feminine, of water, of our menses. But, speaking of menses, we can take this further. Imagine the golf ball as ovum. Our womanly life force. Is it starting to become clear to you? If so, you’re no faux feminist.
Golf is a sport rich, white men play to recreate and celebrate the ways in which they have dominated women all around the globe through the use of power and violence. Think of it. The goal of golf is to smash at the feminine force with their phalluses, traversing large stretches of land where Nature is the enemy and the need to defy her laws (water and sand TRAPS?) is the main obstacle. The “game” is only over when the men, using the power gained through their stand-in members, having beaten her down over and over by a matter of course, finally completely bury the Feminine. The friendly competition between them is only about who can ensure her destruction fastest. Then, reassured of their dominance, it’s back to the clubhouse for a drink.
Golf is a celebration of our destruction, my dear Feminist. Rage against it. If they get a hole in one, they get us all.