Real Feminists Don’t… GOLF

This is the first installment in a series designed to help any novice feminists understand what thoughts and behaviors are acceptable now that they have accepted the mantle of feminism. It is sometimes hard to recognize the influence of the patriarchy in our day to day decisions, but rest assured that it is always there. To help you resist that influence, this series will clarify what is, and, more importantly, what isn’t behavior becoming a feminist.

Real Feminists Don’t….

GolfGolf.

While viewed as harmless, or, if viewed critically at all, only as a class-privileged sport, golf is known amongst real feminists for what it really is: a symbolic celebration of the patriarchy and its oppression of women globally.

Of course, all real feminists are intersectional feminists, so the class implications of golf should be enough of a deterrent. Let’s start there.

For years, golf has been a sport unattainable by the have-nots. Predominantly a pastime enjoyed at country clubs with private membership, golf has long been representative of the leisure class. Due to costs, the required equipment is prohibitively hard to attain, and access to golf courses even harder. And the exclusivity of club memberships wasn’t limited only by wealth. Until recently, racial, ethnic, religious and gender-based exclusions were codified for many clubs. Today, those exclusions may not be formalized on paper, but may still be enforced in practice. Golf is, even today, predominantly a sport for rich, white, Christian males.

And what do rich, white, Christian males do when they get together? Well, they are the predominant leaders of businesses due to the systematic exclusion of everyone else over the course of generations. It just stands to reason they’d talk business. It is in this way that golf has become the unofficial sport of the “old boys’ network” for ages. It is out on the course that decisions are made, deals brokered, and nepotism enacted. All men. In closed clubs. Deciding the fate of workers, of companies, of the economy. Nope! Nothing nefarious could possibly come of that, right?

Are those enough reasons for you? Because there’s more. Let’s look below the surface.

Have you ever thought about the purpose of golf? How did a lovely walk across beautiful landscapes somehow gain expensive equipment to become the favored sport of the wealthy? What is the imagery behind it? What does it symbolize? If you really want to know dear Feminist, let’s discuss.

This is a sport in which rich, white, men stroll leisurely across their wide expanses of land, wielding large sticks. All real feminists recognize a phallic symbol when it is presented and it is certainly presented here. And aggressively. Each man has multiple large sticks which they pay others to carry for them, the burden just too great for them to bear. They practice their grips and they swing these penis-proxies with hips held just so. Much of the heart of the game centers around these phalluses and how much power they feel when they swing them. They discuss their short game, their long game, their stroke! Could it get any more obvious than that?

Please note the placement of the club and how nicely it lines up to extend his "reach".
Please note the placement of the club and how nicely it lines up to extend his “reach”.

Next is the golf ball, round and white. Does this remind you of anything? Yes, the moon, our lunar Mother, ruler of the feminine, of water, of our menses. But, speaking of menses, we can take this further. Imagine the golf ball as ovum. Our womanly life force. Is it starting to become clear to you? If so, you’re no faux feminist.

Golf
Staring down the course of our lives.

Golf is a sport rich, white men play to recreate and celebrate the ways in which they have dominated women all around the globe through the use of power and violence. Think of it. The goal of golf is to smash at the feminine force with their phalluses, traversing large stretches of land where Nature is the enemy and the need to defy her laws (water and sand TRAPS?) is the main obstacle. The “game” is only over when the men, using the power gained through their stand-in members, having beaten her down over and over by a matter of course, finally completely bury the Feminine. The friendly competition between them is only about who can ensure her destruction fastest. Then, reassured of their dominance, it’s back to the clubhouse for a drink.

Golf is a celebration of our destruction, my dear Feminist. Rage against it. If they get a hole in one, they get us all.

4 thoughts on “Real Feminists Don’t… GOLF

  1. The country club doesn’t “allow” women to join/play any more or less than they “allow” men to join/play. It’s equal right, equal opportunity, just like it should be. Period.

    You’re the most ignorant writer I’ve ever come across. I’m disappointed that I even took the time to comment. Have a good life in your world of hatred and denial. I will never be back.

    Regards
    Josh

    1. Josh,

      While it’s your prerogative to visit a blog or not, it’s another to comment harshly and not expect a response. Allow me to point out a few objectives of this post:

      1. The post directly addresses feminists. If you are not one, you may easily skip this post and move on.
      2. The post particularly addresses younger feminists who may not understand the racial and gender bias that golf in the U.S. continues to perpetuate. (Your country club is not named, but there are many widely-known and respected clubs that could be named as shameful examples of this grievance.)
      3. The post uses tongue-in-cheek humor to disarm feminists who may not understand or know about what women and people of color have observed in their years as caddies and rejected participants for a very, very long time.
      4. The post encourages feminists to understand what’s at stake when an institution that has excluded them for so long so recently began to “allow” them to participate. Yes, “allow.” As recently as 2012 the U.S. Masters golf club denied membership to IBM CEO Gina Rometty membership on the basis she is a woman. Even more recently, the Ladies Professional Golf Association expressed frustration that Golf Digest consistently features models/girlfriends of male golf pros on their covers instead of female players. You may read about how professional female golfers have condemned this treatment as systemic in this USA Today article: http://usat.ly/1gt4pjV .

      Josh, I’m pleased to know you feel your golf club behaves with exceptional respect for all players. You must understand, however, condemning a post echoing the ongoing discrimination that the U.S. has and continues to apply to females and people of color as “hateful” and “ignorant” only perpetuates the ugly stereotype that, with a few Google searches, can be proven to still permeate the highest levels of golf leadership in our nation.

      Lastly and most importantly, if you do choose to return to continue this dialogue, we shall welcome you. However, we ask you to keep the commentary focused on the issue. The moderator will not approve any future comments addressing writers with personal attacks–unsportsmanlike speech, if you’d rather. Thank you in advance for compliance.

      Sincerely,
      Shout Finch
      Managing Editor

  2. This might be the most ignorant and ill-informed article I have ever read. A lot of the points you make about golf are extremely outdated, and not relevant now. Or they may be relevant for an extremely small percentage of the golfing population or country clubs out there. As a member of a “nice” country club, the female presence is strong, proud and mingles well with the male presence. The camaraderie, sportsmanship, and social aspects of golf are tough to equal. If anything it empowers females to have the ability to golf. Some of the nicest people I have ever met are people (male and female) from the golf club. They are thoughtful, generous (give back to the community), have integrity, and encourage all ages and sexes to participate in events, whether it’s golf events or social events. My girlfriend happens to be a golfer, a very good golfer. We play together all the time and she takes pride in beating me on occasion. Maybe you should look in the mirror, the issue you have with golf (jealousy, intimidation, maybe lacking social skills and sportsmanship) may likely be coming from within.

    Regards
    Josh

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