Ms. Andry’s New Year’s Resolutions

Yes, ladies, it’s that time of year again: time to start making fresh resolutions so 2015 can be everything we hope it will be.  Are your Pinterest boards in a state of shameful disorder? Did you forget something else important from your to-do list for 2014, like organic food, misandry, or revenge?

Here are a few of my resolutions to get you started.  Add your own in the comments.  Let’s make 2015 the year we self-actualize!  And also learn to levitate small to medium objects.

Miss Andry’s 2015 Resolutions

  • Take up yoga
  • Capture and consume David Bowie in order to gain his powers
  • Defeat death
  • Learn to knit
  • Build undersea laboratory / lair / boudoir
  • Steal/build doomsday device/tea-warmer
  • Be kinder to others
  • Learn to control the minds of those who would oppose me
  • Eat more greens

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