Yes, ladies, it’s that time of year again: time to start making fresh resolutions so 2015 can be everything we hope it will be. Are your Pinterest boards in a state of shameful disorder? Did you forget something else important from your to-do list for 2014, like organic food, misandry, or revenge?
Here are a few of my resolutions to get you started. Add your own in the comments. Let’s make 2015 the year we self-actualize! And also learn to levitate small to medium objects.
Miss Andry’s 2015 Resolutions
- Take up yoga
- Capture and consume David Bowie in order to gain his powers
- Defeat death
- Learn to knit
- Build undersea laboratory / lair / boudoir
- Steal/build doomsday device/tea-warmer
- Be kinder to others
- Learn to control the minds of those who would oppose me
- Eat more greens